Written by:
Guest Author
In this piece, architect and advocate of child friendly spaces, Natallia Tanko shares the story of transforming her home with and for three generations of her family.
A Shared Journey Across Three Generations
I spent over a decade designing community-led public housing in London, advocating for child-friendly spaces that foster connection across generations. In this Think Piece, I want to share a more personal story—our Hands-on Home. This wasn’t a public project or a co-housing experiment. It was a private home—quietly and slowly transformed by three generations of one family.
When we bought our 1970s flat in South East London, it wasn’t love at first sight. The layout was awkward, the charm was minimal. But it was close to family, affordable, and it held potential. What we didn’t know at the time was that this place would become the setting for a five-year, hands-on journey that reshaped not only our home, but our relationships, values, and way of life.
When we decided to renovate and extend our home, we chose to do it ourselves—not just to save money, but to reconnect with a legacy of creativity, skill-sharing, and care.
My husband Matt and I both come from practical, making-oriented families. His dad, a retired structural engineer, once built his own house extension. My grandad was a builder, and my dad, a factory worker—both passed down hands-on knowledge, and I grew up surrounded by DIY. My mum had a talent for making something out of nothing. When I asked for a doll house, she put an old fridge in my room—it became a mansion for my dolls. When I wanted to look stylish, she turned a tablecloth into a dress. That mindset replaced consumerism with creativity. It gave me something more powerful than possessions: the belief that lacking something is always an opportunity to push your creativity to the limit.
We didn’t start with grand plans. We started small, doing it step by step, room by room. We worked on it at weekends and during holidays, fitting it around our jobs and small children. Matt’s dad brought his tools and experience. His mum helped with the kids—who watched and eventually joined in. They saw walls being built and insulation installed; they played on the building site and asked questions. Slowly, our home grew around us—not just shaped by what we made, but how we made it: together.
We made practical choices—materials that were simple to care for, reuse, or repair. We salvaged timber, worked with what we had, and avoided rushing decisions. That slowness, born partly of necessity, became a strength. It gave us space to be more intentional, to consume less, and to align each step with our values and budget.
In a culture that prizes speed and perfection, doing things slowly—and together—can feel quietly rebellious. But what if we reframed it?
What if we saw home as an active process—where stories, skills, and values are exchanged and adapted over time—not just something you do for your family, but with them?
What if a good home wasn’t perfect, but aligned with how we live, how we relate to the space, and what we care about?
What if sustainability meant not just using greener materials, but building relationships that sustain us—and designing spaces that grow with us, without needing constant reinvention?
What if DIY wasn’t about self-reliance, but about shared agency—a way to pass on skills, build confidence, and ground our homes in real, lived experience?
Our Hands-on Home isn’t polished. That’s the point. But it’s practical and deeply personal. It’s a living space, shaped by many hands and many stages of life. And in its imperfection, it holds something we all need more of: connection, care, and continuity.
This experience reminded me that place-making doesn’t start with a masterplan—it starts with people. And the smallest places, like our homes, can become powerful spaces of exchange when we open them up to collaboration and bring in voices from across all generations.
If you had the space, the time, and the tools—what might you build with your family?
All images courtesy of Natallia Tanko.
About the Author
Natallia spent over a decade designing community-led public housing and neighbourhoods in London, advocating for child-friendly spaces that foster connection across generations. She is passionate about hands-on, collaborative approaches to shaping spaces through values.
- Website: https://www.natalliatanko.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/natalliatanko/
- Additional articles for more inspiration if needed: The Art of Slow Renovation & DMI: Shared journey across three generations